It isn't realistic to eliminate conflict from our lives. Instead, the goal ought to be to minimize and manage it. Since it's always better to resolve the conflict than dissolve the relationship I'll be giving six practical steps you can take to resolve conflict. In this post I'll share step two.
2. Confess my part first
We naturally want to begin with condemning, accusing, blaming or attacking the other person. But God says there’s a better way, which is to confess our part first. This is what Jesus was getting at in Matthew 7:3-5 when he says we should take the plank out of our own eye before pointing out a speck of sawdust in someone else's eye. Even if the other party is 99% wrong and you are only 1% wrong, confess your part first. When you start with them, they get defensive. When you start with you, they let down their guard.
2. Confess my part first
We naturally want to begin with condemning, accusing, blaming or attacking the other person. But God says there’s a better way, which is to confess our part first. This is what Jesus was getting at in Matthew 7:3-5 when he says we should take the plank out of our own eye before pointing out a speck of sawdust in someone else's eye. Even if the other party is 99% wrong and you are only 1% wrong, confess your part first. When you start with them, they get defensive. When you start with you, they let down their guard.
So here's a couple questions you can ask yourself to help you discover your part in the conflict...
- Ask yourself: Have I been unrealistic with my expectations?
- Ask yourself: Have I been ungrateful?
- Ask yourself: Have I been too demanding?
- Guys, ask yourself: Have I been harsh?
- Ladies, ask yourself: Have I been disrespectful?
- Guys, ask yourself: Have I been insensitive?
- Ladies, ask yourself: Have I been too sensitive?
God says things go best when we confess our part first. It's His second step in resolving conflict.
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