Resolving Conflict: Part 1

It isn't realistic to eliminate conflict from our lives. Instead, the goal ought to be to minimize and manage it. Since it's always better to resolve the conflict than dissolve the relationship I'll be giving six practical steps you can take to resolve conflict. In this post I'll share step one.

1. Take the initiative 

God says to take the initiative, but we usually do the exact opposite.

First, we ignore it. But Jesus says in Matthew 5:25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary…” That means we're to run to conflict! Why do we ignore it? Because we believe the lie “time heals everything.” But this simply isn't true. The truth is that problems only get worse when we ignore them. 

Second, we wait for the other person to come to us. But Jesus says in Matthew 5:23-24, “…if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Then he says in Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault…” To summarize, Jesus says: Whether it’s you upset with them or them upset with you, take the initiative! Why do we wait for the other person to come to us? Because we’re afraid, and when we’re afraid we have a tendency to hide, like Adam did in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:10).

But we need to decide: Do we know best or does God know best? Conflicts are best resolved when we resolve them God's way. So the next time you have a conflict you need to resolve, remind yourself of 2 Timothy 1:7 which says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Then go take the initiative! God's says this is step one in conflict resolution.