I recently read in Tim & Joy Downs book Fighting Fair and in Gary Chapman's book Everybody Wins some of the best conflict resolution advice I've ever heard. It was given in regards to resolving marital conflict, but I think the principles apply to any kind of conflict.
From reading the two books I've learned...
1. Listening leads to understanding.
2. Understanding leads to resolution.
3. Resolution leads to harmony and peace.
As we practice James 1:19 (be quick to listen and slow to speak) we begin to understand. To understand each other is the objective in conflict (I Peter 3:7). Once both parties understand what the other is thinking and feeling, this creates an emotional atmosphere condusive to resolving conflict. Just as neglect of the relationship creates an atmosphere where storms brew and lighting strikes, so an atmosphere of understanding creates an environment where conflicts can be resolved. Once the conflict has been resolved, peace and harmony can be restored to the relationship, which pleases God (Romans 12:16, 18).
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