To Be With Jesus

I recently read a book called In Search of Timothy: Discovering and Developing Greatness in Church Staff and Volunteers by Tony Cooke. I want to share an excerpt from chapter four.

Many times people get so heavily involved in church work that they forget that the pre-eminent issue in life is having a personal relationship with Jesus. After commending the Ephesian church for certain positive traits, Jesus told them, “Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love” (Rev 2:4). But ministry work is not a substitute for a vibrant relationship with the Lord.

Mark 3:14-15 says, “He [Jesus] appointed twelve [the 12 apostles] that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons.”

This verse shows us that Jesus’ initial and top priority for the disciples was not for them to preach, but “that they might be with Him.” Jesus was not interested merely in the disciples' ministry productivity; He was deeply interested in their personal development and transformation of character. Furthermore, it was the disciples' character (formed and fashioned through their interaction with Jesus) that enabled them to truly be productive in ministry. How can we accurately represent Jesus if we don't know Him?

Some people, in the process of becoming great church leaders, become lousy Christians.

Let's never let this be true of our staff and volunteers at New Day. Let's never let the work of the Lord, get in the way of the relationship between us and the Lord we are working for.

The Good Samaritan

Tonight in my growth group we discussed the parable of the good Samaritan. What stood out to me most was when our group leader Andrew pointed out that stopping to help was 1) inconvenient, 2) a financial burden and 3) risky.

It was inconvenient in that he was late arriving wherever he originally was headed. It was a financial burden in that he paid for the hurt man's medical expenses. And it was risky because he could've been jumped himself, the injured person could've taken advantage of him, and he could've been looked down upon by his countrymen for helping a Jew.

Helping people is often quite inconvenient. Helping others will always cost us something and we always run the risk of being taken advantage of. But helping people is the way of Christ, and needs to be my way too.

Head Coverings

1 Corinthians 11:4-5 says, Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, for that is one and the same as if her head were shaved.

I was recently asked: Why don't we obey this command? Isn't it picking and choosing to obey some verses and not others? Here's my answer...I understand this verse to be specific advice to the church in Corinth in light of the unique Eastern culture they lived in.

Concerning the men not covering their heads - once Jesus died, the veil in the Temple was torn in two, showing that nothing separated people from God any longer. The covering on the head represented a degree of separation from God. Unlike in Bible times, if someone wears a hat in church today, they certainly aren't doing so to represent a barrier between them and God. It's simply a fashion statement, not a theological one. Concerning the women making sure they covered their heads - Proper women in Eastern culture would wear a veil over their head. Prostitutes would go around with their head uncovered. So if a woman was sitting in a church service without a veil, it would do three things:

1. It would dishonor her husband because she would send out the message that instead of being his beautiful bride, she was a harlot.
2. It would distract the men. What does a prostitute remind you of? Answer: Sex! At church you're there to focus on God, not sexual temptation.
3. It would distract the women. One of the married women might ask herself "Who's this woman sitting next to my husband?"

Now, just because the advice was specific to the church in Corinth, doesn't mean there's no application for us today. One possible application for today would be to come to church dressed in a way as to not cause other people to be distracted by what you're wearing. If ladies come to church dressed too revealing, it could do thing things:

1. It could dishonor her husband. Instead of sharing her body only with her husband, in a low cut blouse, she could be sharing with every man what is supposed to be reserved for her husband.
2. It could distract the men. The person sitting behind you in church should be focused on God during worship. He should have to struggle with sexual temptation because of a woman's immodest dress.
3. It could distract the ladies. One of the married women might be thinking "I should move us to another seat. I don't want my husband seeing her!"

And while women usually aren't as visual as men, men also ought to dress modestly as well, just to be on the safe side.

Three Components of a Good Apology

Marriage requires good conflict resolution skills. And there's no better skill we could master than apologizing correctly. A good apology includes three things: 1) regret, 2) responsibility and 3) a remedy. 

Regret: I'm really sorry. I know I hurt your feelings and I feel terrible about it because I love you. 

Responsibility: I shouldn't have talked to you that way. It was disrespectful and rude and I have no excuse for treating you that way. 

Remedy: I've noticed that we fight more and have less patience with each other when we aren't consistently keeping a weekly date night. I want to make that a higher priority. How about I schedule it this week and you schedule it next week?

I read that "an apology without regret is cold and uncaring; an apology without remedy is empty words; an apology without responsibility is not an apology at all."

After a fight, you can't just pretend nothing happened and move on. For the conflict to be resolved you must be willing to say "I'm sorry" as well as "I forgive you". A happy marriage is simply the union of two good apologizers and forgivers! Apology + Forgiveness = Reconciliation. 

How to Organize Your Workload

We all have a million things to do. How do we organize our day so we get it all done? An entrepreneur friend of mine with a very successful professional DJ company gave me some great advice I want to pass along to you.

There are things we 1) want to do, 2) need to do and 3) things we should be doing.

The things we want to do usually get done because we want to do them and they are usually fun. The things we need to do usually get done too, because if we don't do the things we need to do there's no sermon for Sunday or no volunteers in kids church. The things we should be doing are rarely urgent or pressing, yet these are the things that are truly important and advance the ball down the field (to borrow an expression from football).

My friend makes a practice of doing those important "should do's" before lunch. Then a smaller portion of the day is dedicated to the "need to do's". Then, if any time is left, he wraps up the day with some "want to's".

I've found this very helpful in organizing my workload, and hope you will too.

Highlights of 2011

Here's a sampling of what God has done at New Day this past year:

- We had 187 decisions/recommitments to Christ!!!
- We baptized 20 people (compared to only 7 last year)
- We've gone from one service to two services
- We've grown by over 100 people (average total church attendance Dec 2010 was 214, and average total church attendance Dec 2011 was 337)
- We've begun preparations for a third service
- We've taken the necessary steps to become a general council status church and are on track to be approved January 2012
We paid off every penny of our $30,000 MX9 loan
- We recorded our first ever New Day worship album
- We achieved a state of financial independence - we are now 100% member supported (we have no more outside financial support)
In our first ever special Christmas Offering we raised just over $11,400
- We increased tithe giving by $89,470.26 

How to Resolve Conflict

I recently read in Tim & Joy Downs book Fighting Fair and in Gary Chapman's book Everybody Wins some of the best conflict resolution advice I've ever heard. It was given in regards to resolving marital conflict, but I think the principles apply to any kind of conflict. 

From reading the two books I've learned...

1. Listening leads to understanding. 

2. Understanding leads to resolution. 

3. Resolution leads to harmony and peace. 

As we practice James 1:19 (be quick to listen and slow to speak) we begin to understand. To understand each other is the objective in conflict (I Peter 3:7). Once both parties understand what the other is thinking and feeling, this creates an emotional atmosphere condusive to resolving conflict. Just as neglect of the relationship creates an atmosphere where storms brew and lighting strikes, so an atmosphere of understanding creates an environment where conflicts can be resolved. Once the conflict has been resolved, peace and harmony can be restored to the relationship, which pleases God (Romans 12:16, 18).