In James 3:13-18 James lays out the two ways in which we can approach relationships: 1) the way of humility or 2) the way of selfishness. He says that selfishness is the cause of relational dysfunction and that humility is God's cure. He then goes on to describe for us what humility looks like so we can practice it in our every day lives and relationships.
First, James says that humility is pure and peace loving (v17).
Pure here refers to our motives for being in a relationship. When we're selfish we're only in the relationship for what we can get, not for what we can give. But when humility characterizes our relationships we put others before ourselves by focusing on what we can give vs what we can get.
I remember making friends with a kid in high school just because he had dirt bikes. It's sad to say but I used him. He and his family no doubt picked up on this fact which is probably why one day when we were out riding and the police popped up over the horizon I was left behind! I barely escaped being arrested that day. Serves me right for being so selfish!
But what about you? Guys, do you ever enter into a relationship for what you can get out of it physically? Ladies, do you ever enter into a relationship for what you can get out of it materially? Do you make friends with your neighbor who has a pool every summer and then forget about them for the rest of the year? Are there any people in your life who you only contact when you need something but never in between? These are different ways in which we approach relationships selfishly - for what we can get out of them and not for what we can give to them.
God says when we approach relationships selfishly we'll always have relational dysfunction. God says relationships work best when we focus on what we can give and not what we can get. This is God approaches his relationship with us. John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that he gave..." That is, God's not in it for what he can get, he's in it for what he can give. And if we want healthy relationships we'll do well to follow his example.
First, James says that humility is pure and peace loving (v17).
Pure here refers to our motives for being in a relationship. When we're selfish we're only in the relationship for what we can get, not for what we can give. But when humility characterizes our relationships we put others before ourselves by focusing on what we can give vs what we can get.
I remember making friends with a kid in high school just because he had dirt bikes. It's sad to say but I used him. He and his family no doubt picked up on this fact which is probably why one day when we were out riding and the police popped up over the horizon I was left behind! I barely escaped being arrested that day. Serves me right for being so selfish!
But what about you? Guys, do you ever enter into a relationship for what you can get out of it physically? Ladies, do you ever enter into a relationship for what you can get out of it materially? Do you make friends with your neighbor who has a pool every summer and then forget about them for the rest of the year? Are there any people in your life who you only contact when you need something but never in between? These are different ways in which we approach relationships selfishly - for what we can get out of them and not for what we can give to them.
God says when we approach relationships selfishly we'll always have relational dysfunction. God says relationships work best when we focus on what we can give and not what we can get. This is God approaches his relationship with us. John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that he gave..." That is, God's not in it for what he can get, he's in it for what he can give. And if we want healthy relationships we'll do well to follow his example.
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