Resolving Conflict: Step 6

It isn't realistic to eliminate conflict from our lives. Instead, the goal ought to be to minimize and manage it. Since it's always better to resolve the conflict than dissolve the relationship I'll be giving six practical steps you can take to resolve conflict. In this post I'll share step six.

6. Fix the problem, not the blame 

Determining who’s to blame is not the goal of conflict resolution. It’s almost always both peoples fault, so stop working so hard to figure out who is guilty. YOU are! And THEY are! Once you get that figured out you can free up some energy and time to work on the problem.

Have you ever been in an argument (with your spouse or whoever) and tried to blame the whole thing on them? I have. I’ve done it a ton! And guess what? It’s never worked! Not even one time! In every single situation, in the end, I’ve ended up admitting that I had a part in the conflict. Why? Well, cause it’s true!

A conflict is never further from ending when one person is trying to blame another person entirely. So don’t do that. Now here’s something you may not have thought of…Blaming is a form of judging. When you blame someone else you’re putting yourself in the position of judge - which is God’s job. This is why the Bible says in Romans 14:13, “…let us stop passing judgment on one another.” In relationships, it’s bad to pass gas and to pass judgment. It’s God’s job to judge, so we need to stop assigning blame. It doesn’t bring us closer to resolution, it actually moves us further away. 

Resolving Conflict: Step 5

It isn't realistic to eliminate conflict from our lives. Instead, the goal ought to be to minimize and manage it. Since it's always better to resolve the conflict than dissolve the relationship I'll be giving six practical steps you can take to resolve conflict. In this post I'll share step five.

5. Tell the truth tactfully 

Proverbs 12:18 says “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” That is, foolish words hurt and wise words heal. Ephesians 4:15 says “…speak the truth in love…” You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive. Ephesians 4:29 says “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful…” When you say the right thing the wrong way, the right thing you said becomes wrong - and that's not helpful.

I have many mentors (leadership mentors, preaching mentors, marriage mentors, how to be a good father mentor, etc.) and 99% of them are great. But there’s this one that always feels he has to share what he has to share with me harshly. And it’s not that what he’s saying isn’t true - he’s right on, which is why I keep calling - but he doesn’t know how to share the truth tactfully. While I keep calling, he’s the mentor I call the least. I just don’t like the way he talks to me. He’s too harsh.

When we share our frustrations, we should do so tactfully…gently. Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt…” In other words, your speech should be as pleasant to listen to as good seasoned food is to taste. When we violate this verse we come across as attacking the other person and not the problem. This never helps and always hurts so don’t use the tactics of a political ad. In a political ad, they always attack the person, not the policy. This may or may not work in politics, but it certainly doesn’t work in relationships. Attacking someone will never resolve a conflict. So tell the truth tactfully. God says this is step #5 in resolving conflict. 

Resolving Conflict: Part 4

It isn't realistic to eliminate conflict from our lives. Instead, the goal ought to be to minimize and manage it. Since it's always better to resolve the conflict than dissolve the relationship I'll be giving six practical steps you can take to resolve conflict. In this post I'll share step four.

4. Consider their perspective 

Everybody has their own “normal” and if you act in a way contrary to someone’s “normal”, it can cause conflict. For example, in my family it’s always been normal to have quick phone conversations. We don’t get on the phone and have 10 minutes of chit chat (How are you doing? How’s your health? How’s your life, How’s the kids, etc). We get on the phone, we ask what we need to ask, then we get off the phone. A thirty second phone call in my family is no big deal. When I met and married Kristin I learned that not everyone has thirty second phone conversations. “Normal” for her growing up was to chit chat for 15 minutes before getting around to what you called for. I was always amazed when Kristin took 30 minutes to ask a family member what time we were meeting for breakfast. But for her that was normal.

So conflict ensued in the early years of our marriage. But things got better as we learned to consider the other person’s perspective. I came to learn that if I was talking with her family a thirty second phone call was considered rude. She learned that if she was calling my family a fifteen minute call just to ask for someone’s phone number was unnecessary. Now I still can’t do a fifteen minute call  just to ask a simple question and Kristin's still uncomfortable with a thirty second phone call. But we’ve both adjusted our natural approach to keep in mind the other person’s “normal” so we can have peace in our relationship. And we just celebrated ten years of marriage last month so I’m pretty sure things have gotten better!

When you have a conflict, try to understand the perspective of the other person. You might be violating their “normal” without even realizing it. Philippians 2:4-5 says “Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others.” This is God's step four to resolving conflict. 

Resolving Conflict: Part 3

It isn't realistic to eliminate conflict from our lives. Instead, the goal ought to be to minimize and manage it. Since it's always better to resolve the conflict than dissolve the relationship I'll be giving six practical steps you can take to resolve conflict. In this post I'll share step three.

3. Listen for the hurt 

Where there is conflict there is hurt. So one of your goals when trying to resolve conflict ought to be to discover the hurt. The apostle James tells us how: James 1:19 says in The Message paraphrase “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue…” Most of the time when someone acts irritable towards us, we respond in kind. God says that’s the wrong response. Instead we should listen for the hurt. Listening leads to understanding. Understanding leads to resolution. And resolution leads to peace. This is God's step three in resolving conflict.

Resolving Conflict: Part 2

It isn't realistic to eliminate conflict from our lives. Instead, the goal ought to be to minimize and manage it. Since it's always better to resolve the conflict than dissolve the relationship I'll be giving six practical steps you can take to resolve conflict. In this post I'll share step two.

2. Confess my part first 

We naturally want to begin with condemning, accusing, blaming or attacking the other person. But God says there’s a better way, which is to confess our part first. This is what Jesus was getting at in Matthew 7:3-5 when he says we should take the plank out of our own eye before pointing out a speck of sawdust in someone else's eye. Even if the other party is 99% wrong and you are only 1% wrong, confess your part first. When you start with them, they get defensive. When you start with you, they let down their guard. 

So here's a couple questions you can ask yourself to help you discover your part in the conflict...

• Ask yourself: Have I been unrealistic with my expectations? 
• Ask yourself: Have I been ungrateful? 
• Ask yourself: Have I been too demanding? 
• Guys, ask yourself: Have I been harsh? 
• Ladies, ask yourself: Have I been disrespectful? 
• Guys, ask yourself: Have I been insensitive? 
• Ladies, ask yourself: Have I been too sensitive?

God says things go best when we confess our part first. It's His second step in resolving conflict. 

Resolving Conflict: Part 1

It isn't realistic to eliminate conflict from our lives. Instead, the goal ought to be to minimize and manage it. Since it's always better to resolve the conflict than dissolve the relationship I'll be giving six practical steps you can take to resolve conflict. In this post I'll share step one.

1. Take the initiative 

God says to take the initiative, but we usually do the exact opposite.

First, we ignore it. But Jesus says in Matthew 5:25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary…” That means we're to run to conflict! Why do we ignore it? Because we believe the lie “time heals everything.” But this simply isn't true. The truth is that problems only get worse when we ignore them. 

Second, we wait for the other person to come to us. But Jesus says in Matthew 5:23-24, “…if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Then he says in Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault…” To summarize, Jesus says: Whether it’s you upset with them or them upset with you, take the initiative! Why do we wait for the other person to come to us? Because we’re afraid, and when we’re afraid we have a tendency to hide, like Adam did in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:10).

But we need to decide: Do we know best or does God know best? Conflicts are best resolved when we resolve them God's way. So the next time you have a conflict you need to resolve, remind yourself of 2 Timothy 1:7 which says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Then go take the initiative! God's says this is step one in conflict resolution. 

Dealing with Anger: Part 4

What do we do when people make us angry? Do we attack back? Do we seek to get even? Do we allow them to walk all over us believing this is our Christian duty? What does the Bible say about dealing with the people in our lives who make us crazy...and angry? Well, the Bible gives us four things we can do to keep our cool with our crazymakers.

1. Calculate the Cost.
2. Look past their hurt to their pain.
3. Think before reacting.
4. Pray Psalm 141:3 before crazymaker encounters. 

In this post we'll look at the fourth of the four things: Pray Psalm 141:3 before crazymaker encounters.

Some crazymakers we're able to avoid. But others are neighbors, co-workers or family members that we're going to interact with on a regular basis. When we have such an encounter, we'll do well to pray Psalm 141:3 ahead of time. In Psalm 141:3 the psalmist prays, “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

As a teenager I went to Buckingham palace. And you’ve probably seen the guards that stand by the gates to make sure no one comes in that’s not supposed to. Well, in Psalm 141:3 the psalmist kind of reverses that picture and says - God, be like a guard that prevents anything bad from coming out of the gate of my mouth. In other words - the psalmist is praying that God would prevent him from saying something stupid that would only escalate the conflict or drama and worsen the relationship. What a beautiful word picture! And what a great prayer to pray before a crazymaker encounter.

People are going to irritate us, just like tourists irritate the guards at Buckingham palace. But when we pray Psalm 141:3 we can become like the guards, who don't lose their cool with every little annoyance. So I would encourage you to memorize Psalm 141:3 and to pray it as often as needed. Doing so will better help you keep your cool with your crazymakers. 

Dealing with Anger: Part 3

What do we do when people make us angry? Do we attack back? Do we seek to get even? Do we allow them to walk all over us believing this is our Christian duty? What does the Bible say about dealing with the people in our lives who make us crazy...and angry? Well, the Bible gives us four things we can do to keep our cool with our crazymakers.

1. Calculate the Cost.
2. Look past their hurt to their pain.
3. Think before reacting. 
4. Pray Psalm 141:3 before crazymaker encounters.

In this post we'll look at the third of the four things: Think before reacting.

When one of your crazymaker's starts pushing your buttons and you begin to feel irritated or angry - think before reacting. Proverbs 13:16 says, “Wise people think before they act; fools don’t…” In other words, put your mind in gear before you put your mouth in gear. Don’t respond impulsively.

Let me tell you about a time I did not think before reacting. One time in college this girl was irritating me. She kept saying stuff that was bothering me and would then kind of shake her butt at me. Without giving it a second thought I yelled across the yard “Keep shaking that thing - maybe it will shrink!” She immediately burst into tears and I felt horrible. In that situation I was a fool for giving vent to my anger. The Bible says wise people think before they act.

You know what I've learned? I've never put my foot in my mouth when it was closed. We would all be wise to live by James 1:19 which says “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James says the longer you hold your temper the better it gets.

Proverbs 29:11 says, “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” The Hebrew here literally means “he cools it”. That is, he cools his red hot anger. So when you tell someone “chill out” you’re basically just quoting Proverbs 29:11. And that's exactly what we need to do when we're angry. 

So don’t immediately text back! Don’t immediately respond to that email! Don’t immediately make a post to social media (even a vague one)! Sleep on it. Or as the Bible puts it, let your anger cool.

Dealing with Anger: Part 2

What do we do when people make us angry? Do we attack back? Do we seek to get even? Do we allow them to walk all over us believing this is our Christian duty? What does the Bible say about dealing with the people in our lives who make us crazy...and angry? Well, the Bible gives us four things we can do to keep our cool with our crazymakers.

1. Calculate the Cost.
2. Look past their hurt to their pain. 
3. Think before reacting.
4. Pray Psalm 141:3 before crazymaker encounters.

In this post we'll look at the second of the four things: Look past their hurt to their pain.

When our crazymakers hurt us, it’s so tempting to respond in kind, but God calls us to take the moral high road - to look past their words to their pain. Proverbs 19:11 says it this way, “A wise man restrains his anger and overlooks insults. This is to his credit.” (LB) Now, when you overlook something, you look past it to what’s behind it. So when a crazymaker says or does something hurtful, you look past the unkind word or deed to the real issue. Doing so will help you respond without losing your cool.

For example, I remember when my daughter Ally was in kindergarten, there was this girl in her class that was nasty to everyone, including Ally. As we got to know the family we learned that this little girl’s dad was never around. We explained to Ally that when someone is acting nasty, it’s usually because they are hurting - and that she might be acting nasty because she’s hurt that she never gets to see her daddy. So we told Ally two things:

1. Don’t ever allow her to treat you nasty. Just because she's hurting doesn’t give her the right to treat you like trash. So tell her she’s being nasty and that you don’t appreciate it and that it needs to stop.
2. Don’t be mean back. Instead, have compassion. This girl is hurting because she misses her daddy. The last thing she needs is for someone to inflict more hurt and pain into her life by being nasty back. Jesus said “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” He didn’t say “Retaliate!”

It is not our Christian duty to let nasty, mean-spirited people walk all over us. We can and should stand up for ourselves when people and being hurtful. But it is our Christian duty to respond in a God-honoring way. We will be mad when people hurt us, but there's a way to be angry without sinning. As Ephesians 4:26 says, "In your anger, do not sin." How do we do this you ask? We look past their words to their pain. That is, we keep in mind that hurt people hurt people. And in light of this we choose to act compassionately. We will stand up for ourselves when people are being hurtful, but we will not be hurtful back. 

Dealing with Anger: Part 1

What do we do when people make us angry? Do we attack back? Do we seek to get even? Do we allow them to walk all over us believing this is our Christian duty? What does the Bible say about dealing with the people in our lives who make us crazy...and angry? Well, the Bible gives us four things we can do to keep our cool with our crazymakers.

1. Calculate the Cost.  
2. Look past their words to their pain.
3. Think before reacting.
4. Pray Psalm 141:3 before crazymaker encounters.

 In this post we'll look at the first of the four things: Calculate the Cost.

Before you respond with unrighteous anger, calculate what you’re going to lose. You see, you’re less likely to get angry when somebody’s pushing your buttons if you realize there’s always a price tag for unrighteous anger. What's the price tag of unrighteous anger, you ask? Well, the Bible says that when I get anger in an unrighteous way...

1. I’m going to stir up conflict. Proverbs 29:22a says, "An angry person stirs up conflict..." 
2. I’m going to sin. Proverbs 29:22b, "...a hot-tempered person commits many sins." 
3. I’m going to make mistakes. Proverbs 14:29, A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes. 
4. I’m going to do something foolish that later I will regret. Proverbs 14:17, A quick-tempered person does foolish things…

For example, back in 1978 there was a famous college football coach named Woody Hayes. He coached Ohio State for 28 seasons, winning five national championships and 13 Big Ten Conference titles. But despite his great achievements, his coaching career ended abruptly when he was fired after punching an opposing player that caught an interception during the 1978 Gator Bowl. The video is on youtube. Ohio’s quarterback throws the ball. The other team intercepts. Ohio tackles the guy who caught the interception. The coach runs over to the guy who caught the interception, helps him up, and then punches him in the throat. It was crazy. And then he was fired.

The Bible says I always lose when I lose my temper.  So the next time one of your crazymakers starts pushing your buttons, just ask yourself...

1. Is it worth it to risk losing respect? 
2. Is it worth it to risk losing the love of my family? 
3. Is it worth it to risk losing my job? 
4. Is it worth it to risk making matters worse? 

If we keep in mind that our unrighteous anger always has a high price tag, we will be much more likely to respond in a God-honoring way when our crazymakers make us angry. 

What Humility Looks Like: Part 4

In James 3:13-18 James lays out the two ways in which we can approach relationships: 1) the way of humility or 2) the way of selfishness. He says that selfishness is the cause of relational dysfunction and that humility is God's cure. He then goes on to describe for us what humility looks like so we can practice it in our every day lives and relationships.

First, James says that humility is pure and peace loving (v17).
Second, James says that humility is considerate (v17).
Third, James says that humility is submissive (v17).

Fourth, James says that humility is full of mercy and good fruit (v17).

When James says “mercy and good fruit” he’s talking about having the kind of compassion on someone who’s in need that leads you to help them out. When we are selfish we don’t have time to help people in need. But when humility characterizes our lives we show a concern for others and a willingness to help them out when needed.

Two winters ago we had a really bad snow storm. Here’s a picture of what my driveway looked like after the storm...

Not only was this before I owned a snowblower, but I happened to be very sick the day it snowed. Well to help me out, two of my neighbors came with their snowblowers and cleared my whole driveway. What would’ve taken me the whole day took them less than 30 minutes. They had the kind of compassion that led them to help and the Bible calls this being full of mercy and good fruit.

Now do you think their mercy hurt or helped our relationship? It helped! Anytime you show compassion and help someone in need it strengthens the relationship. If there’s any relationship you have that needs to improve - just help them with something. God says it will make a difference. 

God says that relationships work best when each person helps the other out when they are in need.

• When your neighbor goes on vacation and wants you to feed their cats, are you available or busy? 
• When your family is remodeling a room in their house, do you offer a helping hand or wait to visit them until the project is complete? 
• When your friend or co-worker is moving, do you conveniently make plans that weekend so you won’t have to help? 

God hasn’t called us to selfish living, rather selfless living. And we can practice biblical humility when we put someone else’s needs before our own by helping them when in need. When God saw us in need - separated from him because of our sin - he stepped in to help. He sent Jesus to die on a cross to take the punishment we deserved for our sins. Because he did we can have peace in our relationship with God. And when we follow in God's footsteps we can have peace in our relationship with others. 

What Humility Looks Like: Part 3

In James 3:13-18 James lays out the two ways in which we can approach relationships: 1) the way of humility or 2) the way of selfishness. He says that selfishness is the cause of relational dysfunction and that humility is God's cure. He then goes on to describe for us what humility looks like so we can practice it in our every day lives and relationships.

First, James says that humility is pure and peace loving (v17).
Second, James says that humility is considerate (v17).

Third, James says that humility is submissive (v17). 

Submissive here means "readiness to yield." When you're selfish you always have to have your own way. But when humility characterizes our relationships we’re willing to yield to what others want from time to time instead of always demanding our own way.

I like action and adventure movies. If stuff aint blowing up, why even make the movie? But my wife Kristin likes musicals. And last December when Carrie Underwood did a modern day rendition of "The Sound of Music" she asked me to watch it with her. I immediately made a post to our church Facebook page that read "Quick! Someone call me with a church "emergency." My wife is trying to make me watch a musical!!!" When no one rescued me I finally surrendered and watched a musical. I made fun of it here and there just so I could still call myself a man, but for the most part I was a good sport. Why? Because God says relationships work best when we don't have to have our own way all the time. 

Take Jesus for example. In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus said "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42). Jesus would've rather provided salvation for mankind apart from suffering, but didn't demand his own way. He demonstrated a readiness to yield. Because he did we can have peace in our relationship with God. And when we follow in Jesus' footsteps by not demanding our own way all the time, we can have peace in our relationship with others. 

What Humility Looks Like: Part 2

In James 3:13-18 James lays out the two ways in which we can approach relationships: 1) the way of humility or 2) the way of selfishness. He says that selfishness is the cause of relational dysfunction and that humility is God's cure. He then goes on to describe for us what humility looks like so we can practice it in our every day lives and relationships.

First, James says that humility is pure and peace loving (v17). 

Second, James says that humility is considerate (v17). 

Considerate here means you are mindful of how your actions or inaction affects others. When you're selfish you don't really care how what you do might inconvenience or upset someone else. But when humility characterizes your life, you put others before yourself in that you think through how your behavior affects others. 

My wife recently asked me to stop leaving empty popcorn bags under the microwave. You see, I have this bad habit of empty the bag into the bowl and then just leaving the bag on the counter for the empty popcorn bag fairy to come clean up. Kristin informed me there is no such thing as the empty popcorn bag fairy, and that it's her who has to clean up my bag when I leave it on the counter. This is the opposite of considerate. 

Did you know that God is considerate? For example, when He saw us separated from him because of our sin, He was mindful (or considerate) that his inaction would affect us deeply. So he sent Jesus to die in our place for our sins so that we wouldn't have to. Image if we were all like God, thinking of how our actions or inactions would affect others - wouldn't we all have better relationships? I think we would! 

If you use the last of the bath tissue in the restroom don't leave the roll behind for someone else to replace. That's inconsiderate. If you're married, don't make plans independently. You and your spouse are one. When you fail to take your spouse into account when making decisions, that's inconsiderate. Look behind you when you walk through a door. Letting the door slam into the person behind you that weren't mindful of is inconsiderate. God says relationships work best when we're considerate of others. 

What Humility Looks Like: Part 1

In James 3:13-18 James lays out the two ways in which we can approach relationships: 1) the way of humility or 2) the way of selfishness. He says that selfishness is the cause of relational dysfunction and that humility is God's cure. He then goes on to describe for us what humility looks like so we can practice it in our every day lives and relationships.

First, James says that humility is pure and peace loving (v17). 

Pure here refers to our motives for being in a relationship. When we're selfish we're only in the relationship for what we can get, not for what we can give. But when humility characterizes our relationships we put others before ourselves by focusing on what we can give vs what we can get. 

I remember making friends with a kid in high school just because he had dirt bikes. It's sad to say but I used him. He and his family no doubt picked up on this fact which is probably why one day when we were out riding and the police popped up over the horizon I was left behind! I barely escaped being arrested that day. Serves me right for being so selfish!

But what about you? Guys, do you ever enter into a relationship for what you can get out of it physically? Ladies, do you ever enter into a relationship for what you can get out of it materially? Do you make friends with your neighbor who has a pool every summer and then forget about them for the rest of the year? Are there any people in your life who you only contact when you need something but never in between? These are different ways in which we approach relationships selfishly - for what we can get out of them and not for what we can give to them.

God says when we approach relationships selfishly we'll always have relational dysfunction. God says relationships work best when we focus on what we can give and not what we can get. This is God approaches his relationship with us. John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that he gave..." That is, God's not in it for what he can get, he's in it for what he can give. And if we want healthy relationships we'll do well to follow his example. 

How did Jesus fulfill the Passover? Part 5

According to Exodus 12 there were five basic requirements for celebrating Passover.

1. Set aside a lamb on the 10th of Nisan- one without defect 
2. Slaughter the lamb on the 14th - but don’t break any bones 
3. Put some of the lamb’s blood on the sides and top of the doorframe 
4. Finish the Passover on the 14th - don't let it spill over into the next day 
5. Celebrate the Passover perpetually 

In this post I'll show you how Jesus fulfilled requirement #5.

The fifth requirement for Passover was that it be celebrated perpetually. It other words, God didn't want the memory of his great deliverance to fade away. By celebrating Passover each year it kept the memory of the Israelites deliverance fresh in their minds. But Passover served a two-fold purpose. First they looked back to their deliverance from slavery to Egypt. Then they looked forward the even greater deliverance to come - their deliverance from slavery to sin.

Well, notice the parallels between the Passover and Communion...

On Passover, the same day Jesus was arrested and crucified for our sins, he instituted a new celebration. Having fulfilled Passover, Jesus now instituted Communion. You see, Jesus didn't want the memory of his great deliverance to fade away. By celebrating Communion on a regular basis we keep the memory of our deliverance from sin fresh in our minds. And just like Passover, Communion serves a two-fold purpose. First, when we celebrate communion we look back to our deliverance from our slavery to sin - made possible by Christ's death on the cross. But we're also commanded to celebrate communion looking forward to Christ's return.

Notice: Earlier I read you Matthew 5:17 where Jesus said "Don't misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose." Having accomplished the purpose of Passover, Jesus now instituted a new celebration called Communion.

To summarize: As God commanded the Passover be celebrated perpetually, so Jesus commanded that Communion be celebrated perpetually. In this way Jesus perpetuated the reality of Passover.

So we see that Jesus fulfilled the fifth requirement of Passover. 

How did Jesus fulfill Passover? Part 4

According to Exodus 12 there were five basic requirements for celebrating Passover.

1. Set aside a lamb on the 10th of Nisan- one without defect 
2. Slaughter the lamb on the 14th - but don’t break any bones 
3. Put some of the lamb’s blood on the sides and top of the doorframe 
4. Finish the Passover on the 14th - don't let it spill over into the next day 
5. Celebrate the Passover perpetually

In this post I'll show you how Jesus fulfilled requirement #4.

The fourth requirement of Passover was that it had to be finished on the 14th, which for the Jew meant by twilight (approximately 6pm). Remember, for a Jew twilight was the end of one day and the beginning of the next. They did this because God commanded in Exodus 12:10 regarding the Passover “Do not leave any of it till morning; if some is left till morning, you must burn it.” God didn’t want the Passover spilling into the next day. If any of it was left after the meal they were to burn it before the day ended.

Notice the parallel here between the Passover lamb and Jesus...

As the Passover lamb was done away with before the start of the next day, so Jesus was taken down from the cross and buried before the start of the next day. We read in John 19 that on the same day Jesus was crucified, Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus took Jesus' body down from the cross, wrapped it in strips of linen and buried it in a tomb in a garden at the site of the crucifixion. 

Note: Joseph was a wealthy man and could've paid for Jesus to be buried somewhere else, but God didn't allow that to happen. God provided a tomb on site so Jesus could be buried quickly (before the end of the day) thus fulfilling the fourth requirement of Passover. 

So to summarize: As the Passover lamb had to be finished and done away with before the start of the next day, so Jesus was taken down from the cross and buried before the Passover day had ended. 

So we see that Jesus fulfilled the fourth requirement of the Passover.

How did Jesus fulfill Passover? Part 3

According to Exodus 12 there were five basic requirements for celebrating Passover.

1. Set aside a lamb on the 10th of Nisan- one without defect 
2. Slaughter the lamb on the 14th - but don’t break any bones 
3. Put some of the lamb’s blood on the sides and top of the doorframe 
4. Finish the Passover on the 14th - don't let it spill over into the next day 
5. Celebrate the Passover perpetually

In this post I'll show you how Jesus fulfilled requirement #3.

The third requirement of Passover was that some of the slaughter lamb's blood be put on the sides and top of each Israelite doorframe.

Notice the first parallel between the Passover lamb and Jesus...

1. As some of the blood of the Passover lamb stained the top of the doorframe, so Jesus' blood stained the top of the cross. We read in Matthew 27:29 that they "...twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head."

Notice the second parallel between the Passover lamb and Jesus...

2. As some of the blood of the Passover lamb stained each side of the doorframe, so Jesus' blood stained each side of the cross. We learn from John 20:25 that when they crucified Jesus they drove nails through his hands to fasten him to the cross.

Notice: Apart from Jesus the blood on the top and sides of the door frame has no significance whatsoever. But when Jesus' crucifixion is seen as the fulfillment of the Passover lamb's slaughter, the blood on the top and sides of the doorframe takes on great significance.

To Summarize: By applying the blood of the lamb the Israelites were spared from death. When the angel God sent to judge the Egyptians came to the door and saw the blood, he passed over that house. (this is how we got the name Passover). In the same way today, by faith we apply the blood of the lamb Jesus to the door frame of our heart - and in so doing we are spared from the penalty of our sins, which is death (Romans 6:23). 

So we see that Jesus passed the third requirement of Passover. 

How did Jesus fulfill Passover? Part 2

According to Exodus 12 there were five basic requirements for celebrating Passover.

1. Set aside a lamb on the 10th of Nisan- one without defect 
2. Slaughter the lamb on the 14th - but don’t break any bones 
3. Put some of the lamb’s blood on the sides and top of the doorframe 
4. Finish the Passover on the 14th - don't let it spill over into the next day 
5. Celebrate the Passover perpetually

In this post I'll show you how Jesus fulfilled requirement #2.

The second requirement of Passover was that the lamb had to be slaughtered on the 14th. And God commanded that none of the bones were to be broken during the slaughtering process.

Notice the first parallel between the Passover lamb and Jesus...

1. As the Passover lamb was slaughtered on the 14th day of Nisan, so Jesus was crucified on the 14th day of Nisan. 

And notice with me the similarities between the Passover lamb and Jesus (the Lamb of God) on that day.

• By 9am on the day of the Passover the Jews were busy with preparations for sacrifice. This was the exact time (9am) that Jesus was nailed to the cross. We read in Mark 15:25 “Now it was the third hour, and they crucified Him.” The third hour was 9am in Jewish time. At the same time the Jews were making preparations for sacrifice, Jesus was prepared to die by being nailed to a cross. 
• At 3pm the people were slaughtering their lambs. I know a Jewish pastor named David. He's a Christian who annually celebrates Passover. We worked on this message together and he told me that the last sacrifice took place by 3pm. When the priest had slaughtered the last lamb he would say "It is finished." Well, the Bible records that Jesus died at exactly 3pm. We read in Mark 15:33-37 that “…at the ninth hour [3pm Jewish time] Jesus cried out in a loud voice…“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” [Then] With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. And we know what that last loud cry was, don't we? John 19:30 reveals that Jesus' last loud cry was "It is finished!" 

Now notice the second parallel between the Passover lamb and Jesus...

2. As the Passover lamb was slaughtered without a bone being broken, so Jesus was crucified without a bone being broken. 

We read in John 19:30-37 that the Roman soldiers broke the legs of the two thieves who were crucified next to Jesus - but when they came to Jesus they saw that he was already dead, so they did not break his legs.

Notice: Jesus died on the same month (Nisan), day (the 14th) and even hour (3pm) as did the Passover lamb.

To summarize: As the Israelites slaughtered a lamb on the 14th of Nisan, so Jesus was crucified on the 14th of Nisan. And as the bones of the Passover lamb were preserved, so Jesus’ bones were preserved - not one of them was broken.

So we see that Jesus met the second requirement of Passover. 

How did Jesus fulfill Passover? Part 1

According to Exodus 12 there were five basic requirements for celebrating Passover.

1. Set aside a lamb on the 10th of Nisan- one without defect 
2. Slaughter the lamb on the 14th - but don’t break any bones 
3. Put some of the lamb’s blood on the sides and top of the doorframe 
4. Finish the Passover on the 14th - don't let it spill over into the next day 
5. Celebrate the Passover perpetually 

In this post I'll show you how Jesus fulfilled requirement #1.

The first requirement of Passover was that a lamb be set aside on the 10th of Nisan, four days prior to Passover. During these four days leading up to Passover the lamb was to be examined to be proven to be without defect, for this is what God had commanded.

Notice the first parallel between the Passover lamb and Jesus...

1. As the Passover lamb was set aside on the 10th, so Jesus entered Jerusalem on the 10th, to be set aside as the human lamb Isaiah and John the Baptist prophesied about.

Let me explain. John 12:1 says, “Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany…” Since Passover was celebrated on the 14th, this would mean that Jesus came to Bethany on the 9th. Then we read in John 12:12 that, “The next day the great crowd that had come for the [Passover] festival heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem.” Since Jesus was in Bethany on the 9th, that makes the next day the 10th. Jesus entered Jerusalem to be set aside as the human Lamb of God on the exact day that God told the Jews to set aside their lambs for Passover.

Notice the second parallel between the Passover lamb and Jesus...

2. As the Passover lamb was without defect, so Jesus was found to be faultless.

When Jesus arrived in Jerusalem the Jews tried to find some fault in Jesus they could use to discredit him. For example, in Matthew 21 the religious leaders questioned his authority. In Matthew 23 they asked Him trick questions hoping he would give a wrong answer they could then use against Him. But they found nothing. In frustration, the Jews turned Jesus over to Pilate, hoping he could find something to accuse Jesus of. But even after interrogating and beating Jesus, Pilate said of him in John 19:4 “I find no fault in Him.” Of course he didn't for Jesus was a Lamb without defect!

Now notice this: All these things happened between the 10th and the 14th - that is, during the same exact time when the Jews were examining their lambs - looking for faults - in preparation for sacrifice.

To summarize: As the Israelites set aside a lamb on the 10th of Nisan, so Jesus was set aside on the 10th of Nisan. And as the Israelites examined their lamb to be sure it was without defect, so Jesus was examined and found to be without defect. 

So we see that Jesus fulfilled the first requirement of Passover. 

Why Study the Feasts?

In Leviticus 23 God commanded the Jews to celebrate seven feasts.

1. The Passover, v.5 
2. Unleavened Bread, v.6
3. First Fruits, v.11
4. Pentecost, v.16 
5. Trumpets, v.24
6. Atonement, v.27
7. Tabernacles, v.34 

Why is it important to study these feasts? 

1. Though God gave the feasts to the Jews, Leviticus 23:2 refers to the feasts as “the…feasts of the Lord…” not "the...feasts of the Jews..." This implies that the feasts have just as much significance for Gentiles as Jews (“Gentile” is the Bible term for anyone who isn’t Jewish). 
2. Some mistakenly believe that Jesus came to do away with the feasts and the other rules of the Old Testament Law so they think the feasts aren't important to study, but that's not what Jesus taught. Jesus said in Matthew 5:17 “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose.” That is, Jesus came as the reality of Who the feasts had pointed to for 1,500 years. But without studying the feasts we'll never understand how Jesus fulfilled them. And without understanding how Jesus fulfilled the feasts we won't have nearly the confidence we could have that Jesus is indeed God's promised Messiah. 
3. Christianity is rooted in Judaism. To better appreciate Christianity, one must be somewhat familiar with Judaism. And a huge part of Judaism was the annual celebration of these seven feasts. 
4. When we better understand the feasts we will worship God with renewed passion, for we will have new understanding of the depths of his wisdom in unfolding to us his plan of salvation, which is vividly portrayed through the feasts.