Words of Affirmation

Biblically, there are five ways God expresses his love for us. And these are the five ways that we are to express love to our spouse (and others). In this post we'll unpackage God's first expression of love.

1. Words of Affirmation

In Matthew 3:16-17 we read: As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

In this passage God expresses his love for Jesus through words of affirmation. He says: Hey everyone! Listen up! Jesus is my Son and I love him! He makes me so happy!

One of our family’s favorite Christmas movies is Will Ferrel’s 2003 movie called ELF. In the movie, when Buddy the Elf falls in love with his new co-worker, Jovie, he bursts into his dad’s board room spinning and shouting to everyone in the room “I’m in love! I’m in love! And I don’t care who knows it!”

Well that’s what God is doing for Jesus in Matthew 3. God’s love for Jesus wells up in his heart until it overflows from his lips in the form of kinds words. In a declaration of love he proudly tells the world: “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Solomon was a pro at using words of affirmation in marriage. Here's some of the kind words he spoke to his young bride recorded in Song of Solomon...

• You are beautiful my darling. 
• You have captured my heart. 
• Your love delights me. 
• Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women. 

Following Solomon's lead, something I like to tell my wife is “Honey, you make that dress look good.” I don’t compliment the dress because a dress can’t give me a thank you kiss. But my wife can, so I tell her that she makes the dress look good, not the other way around. Following Solomon's lead my wife tell me "Mike, you're such a hard worker." And I love it when she says stuff like that! 

Proverbs 12:25 says “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” When is the last time you shared a kind word with your spouse? 

First Corinthians 13:4 says “…love is kind”. Therefore, to communicate love verbally we have to speak kind words. From God’s example we learn that kind words are one meaningful way to express love to our spouse (and others). So if this isn’t something you’re already practicing, why not start today? 

If you don’t know where to begin, why not begin where God began with Jesus? Guys, just start telling your sweetheart “You’re my wife. I love you! You make me so happy!” Ladies, just start telling your husband “You’re my husband. I love you! I’m so glad I married you!”