The Bible speaks of a number of different kinds of seasons.
1. The Bible speaks of agricultural seasons
- Genesis 31:10, breeding season
- Exodus 34:21, plowing season
- Numbers 13:20, grape season
- Mark 11:13, fig season
- Proverbs 20:4, harvest season
2. The Bible speaks of different kinds of weather seasons
- Ezra 10:13, rainy season
- Job 6:17, dry season
- Psalm 148:8, seasons for lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds, and the like
3. The Bible speaks of calendar-based seasons
- Psalm 104:19, He made the moon to mark the seasons
- That’s spring, summer, autumn and winter - the calendar-based seasons
4. The Bible says there’s a season for everything
- Ecclesiastes 3:1, For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
- Now, “everything” includes marriage.
- So the Bible teaches there are seasons of marriage.
And I love how Christian author Dr. Gary Chapman (a New York Times Bestselling author) describes these seasons in his book The 4 Seasons of Marriage. Let me explain each of these to you briefly…
1. Spring
2. Summer
Couples in the summer season of marriage feel happy, satisfied and connected. This is the ideal season of marriage to live in. No couple ever lives here permanently, but the goal of each marriage is to live here as much as possible. The attitudes of couples in summer are characterized by trust. In this season the couple has a growing sense of togetherness. They resolve conflicts and enjoy a great deal of satisfaction from how far they’ve come as a couple. Couples in the summer season have come to learn the benefits of being married and are enjoying those benefits to the max. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 describes these benefits stating, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
3. Fall
Couples in the fall season of marriage feel fear and apprehension about the future because they know something isn’t right in the relationship. Their attitudes are characterized by concern and uncertainty about the future of the relationship. In this season the couple is drifting apart and disengaging. They sense that something is happening, but they’re not sure what. In this season the couple disengages emotionally and each partner begins to feel a sense of detachment. Couples get in the fall season by neglecting the marriage. And as Ecclesiastes 10:18 says, “Laziness leads to a sagging roof; idleness leads to a leaky house.” In other words, if you neglect your house, in time, it will begin to fall apart. The same is true of your marriage. You can’t neglect it and expect it to thrive. You have to work at it - like those in the spring season are doing.
4. Winter
Couples in the winter season of marriage feel hurt, angry, disappointed, lonely, and rejected. This is of course is the worst season to be in. The attitudes of couples in the winter season are characterized by negativity, discouragement, frustration and hopelessness. In this season the relationship is detached and cold. There is no sense of togetherness. This is not where you want to be! This is not where God wants you to be! In Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Marriage was God’s solution to loneliness, so when you’re marriage yet lonely, with no sense of togetherness - you’re missing what God intended marriage to be!
Couples in the summer season of marriage feel happy, satisfied and connected. This is the ideal season of marriage to live in. No couple ever lives here permanently, but the goal of each marriage is to live here as much as possible. The attitudes of couples in summer are characterized by trust. In this season the couple has a growing sense of togetherness. They resolve conflicts and enjoy a great deal of satisfaction from how far they’ve come as a couple. Couples in the summer season have come to learn the benefits of being married and are enjoying those benefits to the max. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 describes these benefits stating, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
3. Fall
Couples in the fall season of marriage feel fear and apprehension about the future because they know something isn’t right in the relationship. Their attitudes are characterized by concern and uncertainty about the future of the relationship. In this season the couple is drifting apart and disengaging. They sense that something is happening, but they’re not sure what. In this season the couple disengages emotionally and each partner begins to feel a sense of detachment. Couples get in the fall season by neglecting the marriage. And as Ecclesiastes 10:18 says, “Laziness leads to a sagging roof; idleness leads to a leaky house.” In other words, if you neglect your house, in time, it will begin to fall apart. The same is true of your marriage. You can’t neglect it and expect it to thrive. You have to work at it - like those in the spring season are doing.
4. Winter
Couples in the winter season of marriage feel hurt, angry, disappointed, lonely, and rejected. This is of course is the worst season to be in. The attitudes of couples in the winter season are characterized by negativity, discouragement, frustration and hopelessness. In this season the relationship is detached and cold. There is no sense of togetherness. This is not where you want to be! This is not where God wants you to be! In Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Marriage was God’s solution to loneliness, so when you’re marriage yet lonely, with no sense of togetherness - you’re missing what God intended marriage to be!
What season of marriage do you find yourself in today? What are one or two practical steps you could take to point your marriage in the direction of the season you want to be in?
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