Educators, Not Entertainers

Parents are supposed to be primarily educators, not entertainers. 

• Deuteronomy 4:9 says in reference to God’s decrees and laws, “Teach them to your children and to their children after them... “ 
• Deuteronomy 6:6, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children.” 
• Deuteronomy 11:18-20, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates...” 

Parents are supposed to be primarily educators, not entertainers. Is it wrong to buy your kids toys? Of course not! But I hope their toy to spiritual tool ratio isn’t completely out of whack. 

•  I’ve bought my daughter Allyson a doll before. But I’ve also bought her a little girl’s devotional. 
• I’ve bought my son Lincoln a baseball. But I’ve also bought him a Bible. 

I play with my kids. I watch movies with my kids. I enjoy entertaining them. But my primary role as a parent isn’t entertainer. It’s educator.

7 Things Parents Need to Teach Their Kids - Part 7

There are seven things good parents will prioritize teaching their children. These seven truths come from The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6 and are the spiritual foundation for successful children.

7. There’s more to life than here and now. 

Matthew 6:13b, “For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.” NKJV

Notice that word “forever.” You need to teach your children that this life is not all there is and that they will spend more of life on the other side of death than on this one. That’s the “forever” part. You need to teach them that if they’re lucky, they’ll live to be 80 years old, maybe a 100 years at the most. But that’s nothing compared to trillions and trillions of years in eternity! They need to understand how nearsighted it is to trade trillions and trillions of years of pleasure in heaven for 80 years of sinful pleasure on earth. We need to teach our kids to be like Moses...

Hebrews 11:24-25 says, “By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.” NIV
This is sobering, but listen! Our kids need to know that sin is fun, but that hell is hot - that sin is temporary, while God’s judgment is eternal. They need to know that forsaking God for the fleeting pleasures of sin is NOT worth it in the long run.

Our culture teaches us not to concern ourselves with tomorrow and discourages delayed gratification. But this truth - that "There's more to life than here and now" - is God's antidote to short-term thinking. 

7 Things Parents Need to Teach Their Kids - Part 6

There are seven things good parents will prioritize teaching their children. These seven truths come from The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6 and are the spiritual foundation for successful children.

6. God will help me do what’s right. 

Matthew 6:13a, “And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” NKJV

You need to teach your kids that Satan uses temptation to steer us away from God’s purpose and plan for their lives. And there’s a great verse you can use to teach your kids about temptation. It’s 1 John 2:15-16, which says “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” NIV This verse summarizes Satan’s top three temptations. I heard a preacher once say “The only good thing we can say about Satan is he is entirely predictable.” That is, he hasn’t had any new ideas since the creation of the world. The same three temptations he used on Adam and Eve he used on Abraham and Moses and Joseph and Gideon and Isaiah and Jeremiah and David and Saul and Jesus. And these same three temptations are what he uses on you and your kids. They are called the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. The lust of the flesh is all about pleasure. The lust of the eyes is all about possessions. The pride of life is all about position. And these three values are the values on which our society is built. 

I want to feel good (pleasure).
I want to get more (possessions)
I want to be idolized (position).

The temptation of pleasure is called hedonism (pleasure will make me happy). The temptation of possessions is called materialism (more stuff will make me happy). And the temptation of position is secularism (status will make me happy). These are all lies Satan uses to tempt us into trying to find fulfillment in life apart from God. Your kids need to know that each temptation is a poor substitute for the real happiness God can bring when we obey. It’s so important your kids know these three basic temptations of life.

But you don’t stop there. They also need to know 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” NIV Your kids need to know that no temptation will ever come their way that’s too powerful for them to say “no” to. They need to know that God always provides a way out of temptation. They need to know that not only does God ask us to live right, but he also empowers to do so. 2 Peter 1:3 says “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.” NLT In other words - it is possible to say “no” to temptation and say “yes” to God. If you don’t teach your kids this, they will feel frustrated that God asks something of them that’s not even possible. And if they don’t know that it’s possible to overcome temptations, they might just give up and stop trying.

7 Things Parents Need to Teach Their Kids - Part 5

There are seven things good parents will prioritize teaching their children. These seven truths come from The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6 and are the spiritual foundation for successful children.

5. God forgives me and I need to forgive others. 

Matthew 6:12, “And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.” NKJV

You need to remind your kids over and over that they should forgive others of their sin because God has forgiven them of theirs. If your kids don’t learn how to ask for forgiveness and extend forgiveness, they will suffer from two things:

1. Guilt 
If you don’t teach your kids to receive God’s forgiveness, they will carry around a load of guilt. After they get in trouble, are disciplined and apologize to you, don’t forget to lead them in a prayer where they apologize to God. Ultimately, their not honoring you is disobedience to God who says in Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother...” If you discipline them and have them apologize only to you, their little conscience will still bother them. They need to get right with God, not only with you.

So - if they don’t learn to receive God’s forgiveness they will carry around a load of guilt. But on the other hand, if they don’t learn to extend forgiveness to others, they will carry around...

2. Resentment
If you don’t teach your kids to forgive, then unforgiveness will eat away at them. You may have heard it said that “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” And that’s true! You don’t want your kids living with resentment towards others for the ways in which they’ve been offended. Forgiveness is the key to ensure this doesn’t happen.

If you’re finding that your kids never want to apologize to each other or to someone else they may have offended, ask yourself this: Am I modeling asking for forgiveness? Kristin and I are far from being perfect parents, but I will say this - our kids have no problem apologizing to each other or to others. Just the other day Lincoln was annoying one of my neighbor’s kids to the point she went inside. When Kristin learned about it she talked with Lincoln and he realized he needed to apologize - and he didn't walk over our neighbor's house kicking and screaming. Why? Because Kristin and I often admit we were wrong and ask our kids for forgiveness. When I get short with Kristin, thereby setting a bad example for the kids - once I’ve apologized to both Kristin and God, I go apologize to the kids too. I tell them: I’m sorry for being nasty to mommy. That doesn’t make Jesus happy. I’ve said sorry to him and to mommy and I need to say sorry to you too. The Bible says we’re to love each other, and daddy wasn’t being very loving. I’m sorry.

Your kids will have trouble admitting fault and saying sorry if you do. So make sure your kids often hear you say “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me.” Model it for them so they know how to do it themselves, because you don’t want them living with guilt or resentment.

7 Things Parents Need to Teach Their Kids - Part 4

There are seven things good parents will prioritize teaching their children. These seven truths come from The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6 and are the spiritual foundation for successful children.

4. God can meet all my needs. 

Matthew 6:11, “Give us this day our daily bread.” NKJV

Parents. You won’t always be around. So you need to prioritize teaching your kids that God can meet all their needs. The path of parenting is supposed to look like this: Your kids should go from being 100% dependent upon you, to being 100% independent of you, to being 100% dependent upon God. “Bread” represents every kind of provision and God is capable of providing whatever your kids need at each season of their lives. So you need to teach them to turn to God for whatever they need. So when your kids ask for something, why not encourage them to go ahead and pray about it. In other words - teach them to depend on God for what they need. My mom is such a great example of this. Whenever I tell her of a need she turns straight to God, modeling for me that God is the one who meets all our needs.

If you don’t teach your kids that God promises to meet all their needs, they will become little worry warts. And don’t tell me that kids don’t worry. Don’t tell me that worrying is only something adults do. Just recently one of my neighbors told me that her 10 year old was expressing concern over having to grow up, get a job and find a wife! Don’t tell me kids don’t worry!

Friends - provision is the answer to worry. And when your kids know that ultimately God will provide all their needs - they don’t have to live a life of worry. So teach your kids to turn to God and trust him to meet all their needs.

7 Things Parents Need to Teach Their Kids - Part 3

There are seven things good parents will prioritize teaching their children. These seven truths come from The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6 and are the spiritual foundation for successful children.

3. God has a purpose and plan for my life. 

Matthew 6:10, “Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven.” NKJV

You need to teach your kids: God is on a mission to save lost people and he has a role for you to play in that process! God has a purpose for your life that’s part of a much bigger plan! If you fail to teach your kids this, you risk two things:

1. They will likely grow up self-centered and selfish, thinking they are the center of the universe (when they’re not). 

Kids need to know they are not the center of the universe. Until a kid learns that, that kid is going to be self-centered, selfish and doomed to unhappiness. Happiness is found when we give our lives away for the cause of Christ, not when we live for ourselves. So it’s super important that we teach our kids that God has a purpose and plan for their lives. Parents who treat their kids like they are the center of the universe are setting them up for great disappointment later in life.

But secondly - if you don’t teach your kids that God has a purpose for their lives...

2. They will likely grow up suffering from a sense of insignificance. 
Kids that don’t know they were created by God for God’s purposes tend to wander aimlessly through life. They ask: Why am I here? What am I here for? Does my life matter? And unless you teach them that God has a purpose and plan for their life, they will go through life feeling like they don’t matter because they’ve never learned that God has a role for them to play in his kingdom.

“Your kingdom come” reveals to us that God is building a heavenly kingdom. And “Your will be done on earth” reveals that he has a purpose for each of us. Each and every one of us is to contribute in some way to helping build God’s kingdom. Our kids need to understand this - the earlier the better. But don’t ever think that you’ve missed your window of opportunity. Better late than never! I don’t care if your kids are all grown up. This is something you should still be telling them continually: God has a plan for your life. God put you here on earth for a purpose. You matter. You are important. You have a critical role to play in building God’s kingdom.

My dad used to regularly tell me that God’s hand was on my life. What was he saying? That God was leading me into his purpose for my life. You need to do the same for your kids. Remind them over and over that God loves them AND has a plan and purpose for their lives. This will ensure they don’t grow up self-centered thinking life is all about them and will help them discover a sense of significance (a feeling that they matter).

7 Things Parents Need to Teach Their Kids - Part 2

There are seven things good parents will prioritize teaching their children. These seven truths come from The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6 and are the spiritual foundation for successful children.

2. God’s name deserves honor. 

Matthew 6:9b, “...Hallowed be Your name.” NKJV

If you don’t teach your kids to honor God, their highest authority, they won’t ever learn to honor any other authority either. Kids today have a problem with authority, right? We all know this. Well, it’s no surprise that kids don’t honor their parental authority or their governmental authority. Why would they if they’ve never been taught to honor their spiritual authority? Kids learn to honor their parents and honor their teachers and honor police officers and other authorities by first learning to honor God.

Well how do you teach your kids to honor God? You teach them that God’s name is to be praised and never ever to be used as a curse word. Exodus 20:7 says it like this “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” NIV If you got disrespectful in a courtroom with the judge he would hold in contempt of court. How much more so does the Judge of all the earth hold us in contempt when we get disrespectful by misusing his name! You need to teach your kids that God doesn’t take his name being used in vain lightly. On the same top ten list where it says murder is wrong, it says misusing God’s name is wrong. To understand how serious God takes the misuse of his name we only need to look to Leviticus 24 where we learn that doing so was a capitol offense, punishable by death! In this chapter a fight breaks out and one of the two blasphemes God’s name by combining it with a curse word. When the people heard it they put him in custody until the will of the Lord should be made clear to them. Then the Lord said to Moses: “Take the blasphemer outside the camp. All those who heard him are to lay their hands on his head, and the entire assembly is to stone him. Say to the Israelites: ‘Anyone who curses their God will be held responsible; anyone who blasphemes the name of the Lord is to be put to death. The entire assembly must stone them.’ You see, God takes the misuse of his name seriously!

This is why it’s so important to model for your children honoring God’s name. How can you do that?

• Never misuse the Lord’s name yourself. If your kids hear you say it, they will likely imitate your disrespectful ways. 
• Refuse to watch any TV show or movie that consistently abuses God’s name. Think about it. If you’re watching a movie and God’s name is being abused and you keep watching and you’re laughing, what kind of message are you sending to your kids? On the other hand, if you’re watching something that abuses God’s name and you immediately change the channel your kids will get the message that God’s name is to be honored.

Psalm 29:2 says, “Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name...” NIV That means we’re to always honor the name of the Lord. As you teach it and model it, your kids will learn respect for spiritual authority - and for every other kind of authority as well.

7 Things Parents Need to Teach Their Kids - Part 1

There are seven things good parents will prioritize teaching their children. These seven truths come from The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6 and are the spiritual foundation for successful children.

1. God loves me and wants to be my best friend.

Matthew 6:9a, “Our Father in heaven...” NKJV

The first thing you need to teach your kids is that they have a Father in heaven who loves them unconditionally and desires to have a relationship with them. If your kids don’t know this, they’ll suffer from low self-esteem. Self-esteem is basically our inner sense of self worth. When you have a strong sense of self-worth you have healthy self-esteem. When you have a weak sense of self-worth you have unhealthy self-esteem.

• Some kids base their self-worth on what they think of themselves based on how they measure up to others. But this is no good because they’ll feel bad about themselves every time they encounter someone they don’t feel they measure up to. 
• Some kids base their self-worth on what others think of them. They feel great when they’re praised and feel awful when they are criticized. 

But good parents teach their kids: It doesn’t matter what you think of you. It doesn’t matter what others think of you. What really matters is what God thinks of you.

• Good parents teach their kids: God bought you at a high price to show you how valuable you are to him! As 1 Corinthians 6:20 says “...for God bought you with a high price...” 
• Good parents teach their kids: You are worth more than any amount of money to God. As 1 Peter 1:18-19 says “For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver. He paid for you with the precious lifeblood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God.” That means you’re worth more than millions and millions of dollars of silver and gold! 
• Good parents teach their children: You are the pinnacle of God’s creation! As Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s masterpiece...” 

When your child realizes that God loves them so much that he sent his Son Jesus to die in their place for their sins so that he could have a relationship with them, and that he values them more than any amount of money and views them as his greatest accomplishment, they’ll develop a healthy sense of self-worth (and have a healthy self-esteem). Tell your kids over and over and over how their Heavenly Father loves them until they start thinking, “Wow! I’m worth Jesus, because that’s what God was willing to pay to have a relationship with me! I must be pretty awesome!” When they say that, you’ve done your job. Until they say that, you’ve got some work to do!

The first thing you need to teach your kids is: God loves me SO MUCH and wants to be my best friend.